Suzy is a teenage girl who goes to high school. She’s in love (or thinks she’s in love) with a guy named Ben. Now Ben is a guy who’s never serious. He is known as the ‘playboy’ in school as he gets caught often making out with different girls in the school’s washroom but still Suzy ignores it because he is just so gorgeous. Does Suzy need this guy or want? 99.9% of the people who are currently reading this may say she wants him (as a rational story). The remaining 1% will say she needs him (or none at all). The obvious answer is that she wants him. You see, it’s so easy to know what someone else needs or wants but yet we ALL fail to know what we need/want. In today’s topic, the second day of 7 Days of Salina, we will briefly go through some points explaining why it’s so important for us to be able to differentiate between our wants and needs.
The most important thing that I think we need to know is who we really need and want. Sometimes we make people stay in our lives because of a certain reason. It can either be for popularity, to make more friends, to feel more confident, and so on. So what’s wrong with these things that I pointed out? It all has one similar thing; it’s depending on someone (or even something). You are depending yourself on someone else to keep you happy or feel confident when really you should be trying to and make yourself happy. Before I get any further into this, I want to remind you (again) that every post is connected to either the previous or next post. Yesterday I put up a blog post called Finding Inner Peace which is interconnected to this one. So when you find inner peace, you will find this post more useful because in this post, it will teach you how to not depend yourself on others and to of course, know the difference between what you want and need, as mentioned in the title.
A lot of people confuse ‘wanting’ someone with loving them. But they are not the same. When you want someone, you lose your independence and role as a human being, because you are always relying on another person. You stop trying to complete basic tasks by yourself, you forget what it’s like to be alone with your thoughts, and you can barely remember a time when you were capable of existing alone. Sure, that may sound like love, but it’s not. I can only speak for myself here, but I definitely don’t want a partner who I ‘want’ in my life to survive. Just like I don’t need my partner to ‘want’ me.
Needing, on the other hand, is the first step in learning how to love someone. You want to be around the other person because they make you smile, and they make your heart explode because when you just look at them, you know that instantly your day has turned a lot better. Those little things that shows how much you need a person. Like you need family, and friends. I’ve heard a misconception where people say that needing someone is unhealthy for some reason and personally, I think it’s okay to need someone. We’ve been needing our parents since we were so young. They were the ones who raised us, paid for our bills, took care of us. How is needing someone unhealthy? I know I am not to speak for everyone’s situation but rationally, this is usually the case.
So onto the next part, how can something be in our lives for a certain reason? In the second paragraph I mentioned how someone can be a part of your life for a reason, either for popularity or happiness. In the same way, something can also be in your life for a reason. Let’s take a real life example. Alright so there are these shoes by Kanye West called Yeezy which I’m pretty sure you all know about. Before I say anything that may come out wrong, I love those shoes. But I wouldn’t pay over a $1000 for them, certainly not in my position. I’ve seen so many people on social media trying to rep up those shoes, mostly being fake. However, they all claim that it’s real. Even famous people have been caught wearing them such as Lance Stewart. Now, my purpose of writing this isn’t to throw shades at him but to show that people would do anything to get people to like them. As a society, we tend to easily judge people by what clothes and expensive shoes they wear. My question to you is: do you really need them or just want them? I’ll be honest, I just want them because they look dope and people say that it’s comfortable. But are they really? Or is it because we paid so much for it? Before Yeezy’s were even out, people would still find shoes that are comfortable. So as it sums up, it’s mostly a want. I could go on forever with examples to tell you how much society claims to need certain things but really don’t. We are fooled by fame and we still crave it. We crave people to like us and feel confident about it.
Before I turn this whole post into a biased one, let’s go back to the actual topic. Now that I’ve given you a background story as to what really is want and need, the real question is, how do we overcome this?
Let’s lay some stuff on the table with some simple things. So…wants. Usually comes from materialistic things such as a huge house or clothes that are more than enough. Now, not EVERYTHING materialistic is a want. For example, food and a bed. Personally, I think that everything that goes too overboard like too many clothes is a want. A while back, I went to get myself some school supplies and I saw this really cute eraser of an animated cartoon I’m obsessed with (don’t judge) and immediately I was like, “I have to get this.” Did I really need it? No. I just thought it was super cute. Therefore, it was a want. A couple of days had passed and I kept looking at it but not using it because I didn’t want to ruin it. Eventually, I knew it was just a want (materialistic) and that I would just let it go to waste. Instead I decided to give it to my brother who got very happy when I gave it to him. So did I. What I mean by this is that these things that we think we need, aren’t really needed and that by giving it to someone who is in need of it, just like my brother who was in need of an eraser.
This post, by far, has been the hardest for me to write out of all because to be fair with y’all, it’s not as easy as it may sound to know the difference between our needs and wants. I’m here just to break up some points and the rest is up to you to solve it. I found my own way to solve it and it took time. Perhaps I’m even still on the road to figuring it out. But I just felt like it was important to talk about it because as a society we tend to look at things at a very wrong way. Actually, ‘wrong’ wouldn’t be the best way to describe it but what I mean is that we are blinded by fame and we think that perfection is the key to everything. I want to be that person who stands up and prove others wrong. I want you to be that person who stands up with me. So for whoever who’s reading this: stand up before it’s too late.