A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Dear Salina,
Life isn’t always fair. Things won’t always go your way. You’re not going to get the toys or the clothes that the other friend of yours is getting. Your mommy and daddy will not always agree with McDonald’s every other day.
Instead, you have to deal with what your parents decide. Wear the clothes of their choice and eat the disgusting vegetable your mother makes for you.
I know the struggle you had with how you came back from school and quickly ran to the kitchen to throw away the food you didn’t touch because it looked revolting. So you threw them in the trash-can and covered it up with more trash so your mother wouldn’t know. Or how you threw fruits and sand wishes behind your bed because you just didn’t like them or when you felt guilty of wasting the food, you gave it to your gourmand sister to eat it for you.
What about those fake promises you made to your father? “I promise, I’m just going to buy one toy.” But when you entered the store, your eyes grew wider and you just couldn’t resist it so you went to your father and whispered, “Can I just buy one more?” Looking at him with puppy eyes. And so he let you buy another one.
You’d find yourself with more than two toys, feeling proud to have such a kind father. But as you walked back home, you hoped that your mother wouldn’t start yelling at you for wasting so much money on useless things.
You midget, you should take life a little seriously sometimes too.
You carelessly jumped on beds, thinking you’re as free as a bird, but then things just go terribly wrong. You hit your head with the corner bracket and it started to bleed so much so you cried. It didn’t hurt that much, but looking at the blood, you cried. Your mother got so mad at you for doing such a careless move because you were on a vacation and you had to walk around with that bandage wrapped around your head, with the yellow hat you took from your sister to cover it up.
You were a pro at fake sleeping. You did it because you didn’t feel like getting up yourself and going to bed so you pretended to fall asleep while watching TV and waited for someone to come, pick you up, and put you to bed. Or you’d fake sleep 30 minutes before it was time for tuition, so that you don’t have to go and learn the stupid alphabets or learn how to count backwards.
Oh little one, you’re so tiny but you do things out of the ordinary. You’re completely crazy but I love you. Does that make sense? I mean, I love you because you didn’t care about what your parents said to you. Instead, you did it because it made you happy.
Listen to me, life is a hell of a ride. Enjoy it!
Sincerely,
Salina.

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12 Comments

  1. This made me weirdly sad and nostalgic even though I don’t even know you. There is just something about those little problems little kids have that makes me upset because they should just be these pure balls of joy and I’m not making sense and I know it. Oh well.

    1. It makes sense to me so don’t worry. I can understand why you feel that way.
      You’re right about how kids should be joyful but sadly, we have to live under someone else’s rules and that’s how you basically spend your life. But at the same time, it’s a good thing for kids. If we didn’t have those rules set for us as a child, then we wouldn’t be standing where we are today. I don’t know. I might be wrong but from my perspective, that’s what I feel about it. 🙂

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